


A Gift from the Future Alternate

by RachaelGold



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Baby, F/M, Fluff, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 20:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14409597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachaelGold/pseuds/RachaelGold
Summary: Chakotay makes the foolish decision to continue his relationship with Seven on return to the Alpha Quadrant. Will Kathryn forgive him? Will she even talk to him again? And what else could have driven the Admiral to return to the past and change the timeline?Angst/fluff. Post endgame and canon friendly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>  Disclaimer: All characters belong to CBS/Paramount. The story is mine. (My first, Feb 2006)

She switched off the computer terminal and sighed. Leaning her elbows on the desk, she dropped her face into her hands. It had been a very long day. After the excitement of arriving back in the Alpha Quadrant, she had just spent over five hours in conference with Admirals Hayes and Paris and she was exhausted. Still, at least the long hours she’d spent negotiating during recent months had laid the ground work for their homecoming, and the picture was becoming clearer. By the time they reached earth orbit, the status of the crew should be certain, although the debriefings would take longer. She’d kept Chakotay in the dark, not wishing to get his hopes up. Whilst there had been no expectation of a quick return to the Alpha Quadrant, there was no real reason for him to know. But now they were here. Now she had to tell him. And there was one more thing she had to ask him. It was going to be very difficult. In fact she was terrified. She, who had faced down the Borg, the Hirogen, the Kazon….was a coward when it came to being honest about her emotions. But it had to be done. It was now or never. The words the Admiral had said to her only yesterday demanded that she faced this. She tapped her communicator. 

"Janeway to Chakotay." 

"Chakotay here." 

"Can I see you in my ready room, please. Janeway out." 

A few seconds later, a tall, solid man strode through the door. His handsome features bore a huge grin. 

"Congratulations, Captain, you did it!" 

She winced slightly at the use of her title, but then plastered a smile on her face. 

"We did it. We’re a team here, you know." For a moment they stared into each other's eyes. 

"Please sit down, Chakotay. I’ve just been speaking at length to Admiral Hayes and Admiral Paris. It seems almost certain that the Maquis will be pardoned, or at the very least considered to have served their time on Voyager. The Equinox crew will be discharged, but not prosecuted. Some of my decisions are likely to be questioned and the debriefing for most of us will be lengthy, but on the whole I’m expecting Voyager to be welcomed back. I don’t think we could have hoped for a more positive response. So congratulations! I thought you would like to inform your former crewmembers yourself. I’m sure it’ll give them good reason to celebrate." 

Chakotay’s heart leapt. It was the best he could have hoped for. Kathryn and he had often discussed their likely reception when they got home, and recently she had encouraged him to be optimistic. He could have been facing jail, along with the rest of the Maquis. He had no idea that she had spent hours negotiating with Starfleet over their status during the last year. 

He chuckled. "That’s wonderful! I can tell you that plans are already afoot for a huge celebration in the mess hall and the holodecks this evening. They’ve got food, music, dancing, and who knows what else. Don’t you go finding an excuse to get out of going…..you’re the most important guest!" 

He grinned and his mood was infectious. She smiled back easily. This time it wasn’t forced. They both stood, and he wanted to give her a congratulatory hug, but she seemed to be keeping her distance. She paced across to the far side of the room, taking a deep breath. 

"I suppose you’ll be taking Seven?" 

His feelings of elation deserted him, and his heart skipped a beat. She turned to face him. 

"You know about us?" Damn, I thought we’d kept it secret, he thought. 

"Yes." 

"I’m sorry, Kathryn. I meant to tell you myself, before you found out from someone else." 

"Just how far has it gone? Is it serious?" 

"Not very far. Just a few dates. But it has potential…Why do you ask?" What was her agenda here? 

"Because I’d always hoped that we….well, I guess we’ve got back too late for us. Am I right?" 

Chakotay gasped. What was she saying? Was she actually saying that there could have been something between them? After all these years when he’d believed that she didn’t care for him in that way, at least not enough to set aside Starfleet rules! 

"There’s never been an us. What are you saying? Are you telling me that you do have feelings for me?" Anger was rising in him. How could she have held him at arm’s length all this time, only to start to make overtures towards him when he had finally decided to move on? She had never given the slightest indication that she had reciprocated the feelings he had felt over the seven long years of their relationship. 

"Yes, Chakotay. I’ve always had feelings for you," she said uncertainly. There was the faintest tremor on her lower lip. She shifted her gaze to her hands, which she suddenly appeared to find terribly interesting. 

"How can you do this to me now? I’ve spent seven years waiting for you to say that to me, and now, just as I started building a relationship with somebody else…." 

"You know my reasons, Chakotay. I thought you understood." 

"You never gave me the slightest encouragement…no real hint. You must have known how I felt about you!" 

"Yes, I knew. But how could I tell you how I felt? What good would it have done? I was constrained by my position. The good of the ship always came first." 

"Well, it’s nice to know you think more of your precious Starfleet regulations and your career than my feelings!" he blustered angrily. "Did you ever stop to think what you were doing to me?" 

This wasn’t going the way Janeway had hoped. They were staring into each other's faces, eyes sparkling dangerously. 

"You’re wrong. If you think I care a stuff about what the brass at Starfleet think, you don’t know me at all. I only care about what is right for the crew and that includes you!" 

"You have a strange way of showing it! Besides, considering our unusual circumstances, I’ve always thought that the crew would easily have accepted our relationship becoming more intimate. Hell, most of them thought we were anyway. And I’m damn sure we could have kept our personal relationship from interfering with our professional one!" 

"You may be right. But that’s not my only reason. Don’t you realise the only thing standing between the Maquis and prison is my word? My records and recommendations have already been scrutinised! I’ve faced endless questions about the loyalty of the Maquis, and in particular my relationship with you. There is suspicion enough that we’ve been having an affair for the last..well..five years anyway. They truly don’t believe that the two of us could have spent three months stranded alone on a planet and not leapt into bed with each other. They’re going to cross-examine every member of this crew over the next six weeks. They’re going to rake over our logs with a fine toothcomb! Thankfully, they’re not going to find any hard evidence, because there isn’t any. And because of that, they won’t be able to argue that my word is in any way biased!" She paused, then added, "What’s more, I wanted you to feel free to move on, to find your own happiness. We could have been out there seventy years! I couldn’t expect you to wait that long." 

Chakotay was gob-smacked. He had never thought that the Maquis problem was an issue between them. In fact, he hadn’t really thought beyond the assumption that she didn’t love him. At least not enough to break her precious Starfleet regulations. He supposed she probably had a point. He drew a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. 

After a short silence he said, "I’m sorry, Kathryn. But it doesn’t change anything. I’ve fought hard to overcome my infatuation with you, and it hasn’t been easy. In fact, it’s been very painful at times. Now I’ve started seeing Seven, I guess I’d like to find out if it’s going anywhere…" He saw Kathryn straighten, seeming to grow several inches instantly. Her eyes cleared and she looked him directly in the eye. She was fully the captain once again. The vulnerable woman had gone. She took a deep breath. There seemed no point in prolonging the agony. 

"Well, I guess that’s clear," she began. "You need say no more. For the record, Chakotay, I want you to know that you have been the finest first officer I could have wished for. You have shown the most exemplary devotion to duty and have served both the ship and the crew with distinction. You’ve kept a cool head in moments of crisis and stood beside me through many dangerous encounters. The fact that we are standing here now is due in no small part to your efforts. Your advice has always been of true value to me, although I know I haven’t always taken it. Your support and your friendship throughout our time in the Delta Quadrant have meant more than you can imagine. You’ve been my rock, Chakotay. You’ve picked me up when I’ve needed it and stayed my hand when I’ve gone too far. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you’ve done for me personally and for the rest of the crew. 

And I do want you to be happy… So I’m going to have to entrust the care of Seven to you. She’s immature and vulnerable. She is going to need a lot of support over the next months, years maybe. She needs someone who understands what she’s been through. She’s not going to be welcomed by everybody out there, and the media frenzy is likely to shock us all. She may have trouble adapting to life in the Alpha Quadrant. In a way, this ship has been a sort of collective for her, and now she’s going to have to cope with all the millions of people, some of whom are going to be very interested in her and what she stands for. So I’m counting on you to see her through it. Don’t mess her about, Chakotay!" 

A thousand things were running through his mind at that moment. He was thinking that perhaps he should tell her just how inspired her leadership was. How they would never have gotten home without her unfailing optimism, her refusal to give up on returning to earth, and how she set the tone for the whole crew. How amazing he thought she was.. and stubborn. How her faith in him and in others had enabled them to become better people. How her indomitable spirit, her quick thinking and intuition had dug them out of numerous life and death situations. No, she wasn’t perfect. More than once he’d argued with her, even saved her from herself. But that worked both ways. They’d had an incredibly close friendship, spent many evenings socially, ship’s business far from their minds. She’d been a wonderful captain and friend, and for a very long time he’d hoped for so much more. But now his thoughts were very confused. He really didn’t know quite where to start. He supposed he’d better respond to what she’d said about Seven. 

"Of course, I won’t. But you must still keep an eye on her. I know how much she values your friendship and advice. She regards you as a kind of…." 

"Don’t say it…mother figure?" she smiled. 

"Well, let’s just say mentor. She’s going to be terribly bereft without a good deal of your input." 

"She’ll have to cope. You’ll both have to cope. It’ll be better for all three of us if I stay out of the way." At this he felt the first pang of anxiety. 

"No, Kathryn. The last thing we would want is for you to stay away from us. Your friendship means too much to both of us. In fact, your friendship has been the most precious thing that I’ve had over the last years of my life…" 

She froze him with a stare. And very, very quietly and in a deliberately cold and unshakeable tone she said, "Chakotay, if you think you can pursue a relationship with Seven and still retain my friendship, you are sadly deluded. There is no way in the universe that I will subject myself to watching the two of you play happy families. Now I have no more to say on the matter. Dismissed!" 

He opened his mouth once or twice in an attempt to say something, but nothing came out. He was totally shocked. The look on her face told him that he dare not continue this conversation. He turned and strode out of the room, an awful ache beginning to grip his heart. What she had just said had completely devastated him. His friendship with her had been the lynch pin of his entire existence for the past seven years, and suddenly he felt as if he was coming apart. 

Watching him leave, Kathryn sank into her chair. The tears began rolling down her cheeks and she wiped them away impatiently with the back of her hands. Eventually she went over to the replicator to get a box of tissues. Well, she’d tried. He’d made his choice and she had to get on with her life. It was going to be very difficult not to have him around, but she knew that for her own self-preservation she was going to have to distance herself from him. Reaching home was going to be bittersweet. But now, thanks to the visit of her future self, there was something else to consider. 

Well, Chakotay, she thought, I’m going to have to do this entirely by myself. I suppose I never really thought you would be with me, after the Admiral told me that you and Seven married in her timeline. I do want you to be happy, but I’m entitled to some happiness of my own after all the sacrifices I’ve made over the last seven years. And you, Chakotay, were the biggest sacrifice of all. You may never know just exactly what you turned down. 

A while later, half the box of tissues truly drenched, her eyes puffy and make-up ruined, she finally noticed dozens of red lights blinking on her computer screen. 

It seemed like everybody in the universe wanted to contact her. 

She scrolled down the list of names. Most were from Starfleet. Then she noticed a message from her sister and another from her mother. A small smile tipped one corner of her mouth. She accessed the one from her mother. There were some good things about getting home.


	2. Chapter 2

On the way back to her quarters, Kathryn visited Sick Bay to greet the newest member of the crew. She congratulated the ecstatic new parents, Tom and B’Elanna, and was immensely honoured by their choice of name. She had a quick, admiring cuddle with baby Miral Kathryn and then returned her to her tired mother.

Then she threw a few of her belongings into boxes ready for removal from the ship. She really did not have that many things. She was no hoarder. A person has to travel light when they’re flitting round the universe. There were a few larger personal items in her lounge, but the crewmen could deal with them. Angrily she threw a few photos of Chakotay, mementoes of New Earth and other reminders of their precious relationship into a box. The collection completed, she stilled for a moment, barely reining in the tears. She had sacrificed so much for the people she cared about, and what she held in her hands represented the biggest loss of all. Then she lifted her chin with determination. Summoning strength from somewhere within, she took a green pen and wrote “recycle” on the outside in a shaky hand. Then she placed the box, rejected and folorn, in the corner of her bedroom away from the rest. She sat quietly on her bed for a few minutes, some part of her unwilling to let go of her dream. Dear God, she was having second thoughts. She’d decide later, when she was thinking more rationally. She rose, lifted the box and restored it to its mates. She crossed out the ugly green letters. She wasn't ready to recycle this relationship just yet.

After a cup of coffee, a small salad, which she barely touched, and a long relaxing soak in the tub, Kathryn began to feel strong enough to face the party. She was rummaging through her meagre wardrobe for something remotely feminine to wear. Often, in the past, she would have gone in her uniform, or some stuffy pant suit that still managed to scream “Captain” at everyone. She really hadn’t anything sexy and alluring in her wardrobe. It was not surprising really. They’d initially set off on a three week mission, so she hadn’t brought much with her in the first instance. And since then, “sexy” was very definitely not the image she’d wanted to convey at any gathering. But tonight was different. Tonight she wanted to show them, Chakotay in particular, a glimpse of the woman underneath the Captain’s façade. She’d show him exactly what he was turning his back on. No doubt Seven would look absolutely stunning. She always did. So she’d have to find something pretty good not to be completely overshadowed by her. There was nothing for it. She’d have to replicate something new. After all, rationing was no longer a problem. She chose a silky dark green dress, which left her shoulders and back bare and beautifully complemented the chestnut tones in her hair. With matching shoes, and her hair pinned up with sparkling crystals tucked into the pleat, she looked dazzling and knew it. She was not a bit surprised at the awed silence that greeted her as she entered the holodeck. She enjoyed making an entrance. Nor was she surprised at the number of crewmen, who, having been scared witless at having been required to report to her in the past, suddenly found the bottle to ask her to dance. Some, emboldened by a few glasses of wine, even risked a kiss. They were celebrating with abandon, and Kathryn threw herself wholeheartedly into the fun. She wondered idly where Chakotay was, but decided not to think too hard about it right then.

At that moment, he was in fact trying to persuade Seven to put on a red dress, which she mysteriously had in her wardrobe. He had never seen her in it, and she was reluctant to put it on.

“I fail to see why my normal clothes will not do for the occasion,” she said bluntly.

“Come on, Seven. I’ve made an effort, so you can too. This dress is gorgeous. Trust me. You’ll look fabulous in it!”

“If it pleases you, I will comply. Return for me in ten minutes.”

“Fine,” he said, smiling. He kissed her gently on the cheek and wandered slowly back towards his quarters. His expression visibly slumped as he left the cargo bay. He’d been feeling sick to the core since his conversation with Kathryn that afternoon, and it was slowly dawning on him that perhaps he had not closed down his feelings for her as well as he’d thought he had. And the prospect of losing her friendship was completely devastating. He began to realise that had it been Seven who had said that she wanted to end their association, he wouldn’t be feeling a fraction of the turmoil he was feeling right now. In fact, yesterday, she had discussed ending their relationship, but he had implored her not to, citing his own feelings as the reason to continue. Now, he wasn’t so sure he actually did feel like that about her. Well, he was committed to taking Seven to the party. They needn’t stay late. After that, he’d catch Kathryn and try to set things straight. Surely his relationship with Seven should not have to come at the cost of his friendship with Kathryn.

When they walked in to the party, there was a stunned silence again. This time it was because people were shocked to see the two of them walk in arm in arm. The celebrating crew had really no idea that the two were dating. The majority had known the commander to be in love with their Captain and most of those believed that she returned the sentiment. The chemistry between the two of them had been unmistakable, and everyone assumed that, if they weren’t already a couple, then they soon would be after they were released from the burdens of command. For her part, Kathryn glanced up and took in their arrival without comment, turning straight back to continue her conversation with two ensigns. Immediately the general hubbub of the party returned, the revellers taking their signal from their Captain. Thank God, thought Kathryn, that I already knew about their dalliance before tonight.

Chakotay’s eyes roamed the room, searching for Kathryn. When he spotted her, his breath caught in his throat. She looked simply stunning in her green dress, showing off her graceful shoulders and trim figure. It was also a rarity to see her shapely legs. As he watched, one of the ensigns asked her to dance, and she eagerly joined him on the dance floor. 

Chakotay danced with Seven a few times, but she was not exactly enthusiastic about the activity. She seemed to regard it as pointless, and only tolerated it because the Doctor told her that it was a necessary part of her social education. He occasionally glanced over at Kathryn, but never once managed to catch her eye. She seemed to be enjoying herself, as did the numerous crewmen vying for her attention. It was difficult to talk now that the music was so loud, and Seven soon became quite bored with the whole affair. Fortunately for him, several other ladies asked him to dance with them, but he had to stop after a while, when he realised Seven was glowering at him. He knew he dare not ask Kathryn to dance. The fireworks that would ensue would have resembled a supernova.

Later in the evening the Doctor appeared, and was promptly congratulated on the safe arrival of his new goddaughter. He soon asked the captain for a dance, and they amazed everyone by whirling round the room like a pair of experts. It wasn’t very surprising really, as Kathryn had clearly a great talent for dancing which she had demonstrated in her ballet performances. The Doctor had clearly been adding dancing skills to his subroutines.

Then the pace of the music slowed. Mike Ayala took the Captain in his arms and moved her gently round the room. Chakotay watched as he placed one hand in the small of the Captain’s back and the other on her shoulder. A curl of jealousy ran through him. He was disgusted with himself for letting it get to him, and he quickly dragged Seven back out on the floor to join in. Soon after that, he decided to call it a night and he took Seven back to his quarters for a pleasant couple of hours of wine and conversation.

Kathryn left the party some forty five minutes later, returned to her quarters and changed back into her uniform. She finished packing her things and spoke briefly to Tuvok on the Bridge, giving him instructions. She warned him that a Captain Jenkins would be arriving at 0800 to take over the running of the ship, at least temporarily. She had been ordered to transport to the _Wayfarer_ to begin debriefing.

She then made her way to Sick Bay, which was fortunately very quiet. B’Elanna and Tom had taken the baby back to their quarters. She contacted the Doctor and asked him to join her for a moment. When he arrived, she asked him to release to her the package which had been deposited with him by the Admiral. He went to a stasis unit and removed a small metallic canister. He held it quite reverently and handed it carefully to Janeway. She asked him about maintenance of the unit. 

“It has its own power unit and can safely be stored for a number of weeks, possibly months, without further attention. However, to be on the safe side, you should deliver it to a Starfleet medical facility as soon as you return to earth.” 

“Can it be safely transported?”

“Oh, yes. It already has been transported through time and space quite safely. It has been perfectly protected from tachyon radiation, and I must say my other self has done a splendid job in preserving it. It is in perfect condition.”

“Good. You will understand why I intend to remove it from the ship immediately. Tomorrow morning, the ship will be crawling with Starfleet personnel. They’ll be turning the place upside down, and there is no way that I’m going to risk their finding this.”

“I understand, Captain.”

“And I’m going to by-pass some of your subroutines so that they won’t find out from you that it exists. It’ll only be temporary.”

“Very well.”

She spent a few minutes working through the Doctor’s programming and making minor adjustments. When she had finished she said, “Good night, Doctor. I will be seeing you soon. Enjoy the rest of the party.”

Then she headed off to the transporter room with an overnight bag slung over her shoulder and the metal canister in her other hand. For the first time since the afternoon, she began to think positively about the future.

When Seven announced that it was time for her to regenerate, Chakotay walked her back to her alcove and kissed her goodnight. Returning to his quarters, he noticed some noise coming from the Captain’s quarters next door. The door was open and there were two ensigns inside moving her belongings about.

“What’s this, ensign?” he asked the young lady balancing a box of books on her knee.

“Sorry Sir, we’re moving the Captain’s belongings to the transporter room.”

“Doesn’t she need these things any more?”

“Sir, she’s moving over to the _Wayfarer_. I thought you would know.”

“When is she leaving?”

“Sorry, Sir, I don’t know.”

“Computer, locate Captain Janeway.”

“ _Captain Janeway is not on board the ship.”_

“Computer, when did Captain Janeway leave the ship?”

_“Captain Janeway left the ship 13 minutes ago_.”

Chakotay slumped onto Janeway’s bed somewhat stunned. Was he in charge of the ship now? Shouldn’t she have informed him that she was leaving the ship? He became aware that he was sitting amongst several boxes. One caught his eye. On the side in large green letters it said “recycle” but the word had been crossed out. Curiously, he looked inside. He was amazed to see photos of himself and of the two of them. Digging deeper he saw presents he had given her over the years. Then there were pebbles and feathers, and some objects that he recognised as coming from New Earth. There were a number of seemingly inconsequential things, which he knew were actually very meaningful. He’d had no idea that she’d kept them. Among them were a pressed peace rose and the contents of her medicine bundle. He placed them carefully back in the box and quietly left the room. It seemed to him that she had packed their entire relationship into a box and was on the verge of throwing it out. The enormity of what was happening crashed down on him and he began to shake uncontrollably. Just as he reached his bathroom, he threw up. Suddenly, arriving back in the Alpha Quadrant didn’t seem worth celebrating. He would not sleep well tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next six days, Voyager slipped slowly back towards earth. Warp speed was not practical once they reached the outer edge of the solar system, and the additional transition time gave everybody a chance to adjust after their precipitous exit from the trans-warp conduit. There had been so many false hopes in the past, that had come to nothing, it was hard to believe that this time the plan had worked. During those six days, Janeway had begun the long and arduous debriefing aboard the _Wayfarer_. The morning after her departure, Chakotay had reported to the Bridge, only to find Captain Jenkins already sitting in Janeway’s seat. When he expressed his surprise at this, the man replied tersely that he was now in command, and that Commander Chakotay had ninety minutes to pack his belongings and report to the transporter room. He obeyed without further question, noticing as he walked the corridors that the place was now crawling with unfamiliar Starfleet personnel. He seethed for a while that Janeway hadn’t seen fit to inform of the change of command, but discovered as he cleared his quarters that in fact she had left him a message, short and to the point. He had simply never noticed his computer screen during the emotional turmoil of the previous evening. 

As he approached the transporter room, he reasoned that he would now have the opportunity to talk to her, but he was disconcerted to find that in fact he was to be taken to a different ship. When he queried this with his interrogators, they told him it was in fact policy to keep the two of them apart during debriefing. That way they could identify discrepancies in their accounts. He replied wryly that they’d had seven years to cook up their own stories, and keeping them apart now was unlikely to have any effect on the process. They didn’t deign to reply. He then spent the next few days discussing every planet, alien species, fault with Voyager, space anomaly, but most of all every command decision made during the journey. They seemed to be making every attempt to trip him up. He certainly needed his wits about him and it was very exhausting. Kathryn was right about one thing. They were unnaturally interested in whether the command team had indulged in a more intimate relationship. He wondered how she was faring. 

For the crew remaining on Voyager, a tantalising blue speck had been growing gradually to fill the viewscreen, and it now revealed itself as the familiar object so lovingly longed for. The riotous celebrations of the first evening had subsided, and now there was general atmosphere of good humour. Ten hours away from Space Dock, Tuvok made a formal protest to headquarters that he that thought it unacceptable for the command team not to be on board for their arrival, and for a few hours it seemed like the request had fallen on deaf ears. But with forty minutes to go, Janeway appeared on the Bridge. She was immaculate as ever, but Tuvok thought she looked tired. She demanded that Jenkins return her chair to her, and he immediately dumped himself in Chakotay’s. She surveyed the beautiful sight on the viewscreen with a smile and then addressed Harry Kim. 

"Open a ship-wide channel." 

"Aye, Captain." 

"All hands, this is Captain Janeway. The moment we have been waiting for has finally arrived. We are thirty minutes away from docking, and the view outside is simply magnificent. I hope you have all found yourselves a good vantage point from where to watch. You will remember this moment for the rest of your lives. 

I want to pay tribute you all. I’m proud of every one of you. As a crew, you have served with distinction, doing everything asked of you and more. Every single one of you has made a huge contribution to the running of the ship. You have all played your part in getting us home. You have shown unswerving loyalty, courage and determination. You have put aside your differences to work together. We were a team, and by pulling together we have arrived where we are today. My only regret is that we have not brought back everybody who came with us. We will never forget those we have lost, but their memory will live on in our hearts. 

I want you all to consider what a unique bond has been formed between us. Seven years together is a long time. We have faced many dangers together and shared many triumphs too. In short, we have become like a family, and I trust that we will continue to support each other after we return, as any family should. We all face an uncertain future. The world has changed in the time we’ve been away, and most of us have been distanced from our loved ones. Some of us may not find it easy to adjust. So I urge you to stand together. We are the only ones who understand what it means to have spent seven years in a small community on a tiny starship disconnected from everything we know and love. 

And I want to pay tribute to Voyager herself. She held together through many battles and came through for us. She has been our home. And now she has delivered us back to earth. She sure has been a fine ship. She has been a credit to those who built her, and to all of you who have worked over the years to keep her flying. 

Finally, I would like to say to you all that it has been an absolute honour to serve as your Captain. You have shown yourselves to be among the finest of Starfleet and Maquis crews. You have shown what can be achieved when people work together. I wish each and every one of you good fortune and happiness for the future. This is your Captain signing out." 

Kim cut the link. Janeway noticed out of the corner of her eye that Chakotay had now appeared on the Bridge. His dark brown eyes were looking a little misty. She turned and smiled. 

"I think your place is down here, Commander. Captain Jenkins, would you mind?" 

As Jenkins moved aside, Chakotay took his place, and briefly gave Kathryn’s hand a squeeze. A smile passed between them, silently congratulating each other on their success. 

"McKinley Station, this is the Federation Starship Voyager, requesting permission to dock." 

"Permission granted. Proceed to dock 4." 

"Mr. Paris. Take us in." 

Slowly, surely, the ship eased in and came to a halt. Several arms swung round and the docking clamps clanged onto Voyager. 

"Power down engines." 

"Engines are off line." 

"Secure the ship." 

"All stations secure." 

A channel to McKinley Station and to Starfleet headquarters had been open throughout. Finally, Janeway addressed them specifically. 

"Thank you gentlemen. This is the Federation Starship Voyager NCC - 74656 signing off." There was a moment of silence, then the Bridge broke into a round of applause. There were hugs and back thumps. Tuvok looked decidedly ill at ease, but endured it with resignation. Tom Paris kissed the Captain. Chakotay squeezed her hand again and tried to smile a sign of apology to her. He didn’t know if she’d read it. 

Within minutes the place was swarming with Starfleet dignitaries, cameras and news crews. It was total chaos. The security personnel tried in vain to bring some order. Janeway did her best to remain unflustered and answer the interviewers calmly. Chakotay soon found himself surrounded, and realised that he would be hard pushed to find a quiet moment for a private conversation with Kathryn. Across the ship the scene was repeated. It seemed everybody wanted a piece of the excitement. Eventually, the lower ranks began to make their way through the doors to the space dock, register their arrival and transport down to Starfleet headquarters. Several hours later, the senior staff accompanied by two Admirals and three cameramen took a last tour along the eerily silent ship before leaving themselves. 

They transported down and joined a somewhat sedate reception. Janeway was immediately engulfed by two women. One looked about seventy. She was blonde with a smart white suit…her mother, Chakotay supposed. The other had long honey brown hair, looking like a slightly younger and plumper version of Janeway. That must be her sister Phoebe. Their joy on seeing each other was obvious. Irene Hansen, who appeared a very resourceful lady, was talking to Seven and Harry Kim was being hugged by two very proud looking parents. Baby Miral was being presented to an elderly couple by Tom and B’Elanna, who looked a little awkward at the reunion. Chakotay didn’t think anyone would be there to greet him, but was pleasantly surprised to find his distant cousin from Arizona had made the trip. After a buffet and some very dull speeches, everybody went their separate ways. They had to be back first thing in the morning for debriefing.


	4. Chapter 4

The debriefings were finished after six weeks. Lower ranking crewmembers were only grilled for a day. B'Elanna was left till the end, and Janeway's went on for the longest. At the end, it became clear that the Maquis would not be charged, and would be offered positions in Starfleet. The Equinox crew were discharged. Noah Lessing considered making a serious complaint about his treatment by Janeway, but was told that he should consider himself lucky not to be going to prison. It was only Janeway's high praise of his recent service which was saving him from that fate. He decided to back down. Harry Kim was promoted to Lieutenant, and had seen Libby a few times. It seemed that she had dated some other young men during his absence, but was currently unattached. Tuvok had left for Vulcan for treatment for his illness. The Doctor had been deactivated, his program being dissected in minute detail. Janeway was still arguing about that. She had been demoted to ensign for various deviations from Starfleet procedures, and promptly promoted to Admiral. Starfleet recognised the achievements and potential of their newly returned star. She was quite simply a dream for their public relations department. 

True to his promise to Kathryn, Chakotay had taken care of Seven. She stayed with her Aunt, who, whilst a bit bemused by her niece, had an indomitable spirit and was proving very capable and supportive. The press hanging around outside disturbed Seven, so he made sure that they chose very private venues for their dates. He took her for meals at a secure Starfleet restaurant. They transported to far away places for walks, but of course it did not take long for either of them to be recognised. They were soon surrounded by a sea of faces, some curious, some hostile. Seven found it very disconcerting, although he tried hard to reassure her. So, for the most part they stayed indoors at either Chakotay's apartment or her Aunt's house and chatted comfortably, gradually growing closer both emotionally and physically. 

Eventually, Seven got what she had been she had been dreaming of for the last few months. She was very satisfied with herself. 

Throughout this, Chakotay had been totally unable to see or speak to Kathryn privately. It worried him that he had not been able to pour some salve on the wounds caused by their last real conversation, and he missed her. In fact, he missed her companionship a lot, but whilst he was with Seven, he was trying hard not to admit it to himself. The only place he saw her for a while was on the news channels. In fact, such was the public interest in the returned crew, that there was a whole channel devoted to their antics. It had sprung out of one which had regularly updated viewers on Voyager's progress ever since regular communication with the ship had been achieved. There was even a program on called _Admiral Watch_. And it had plenty of material. Starfleet had Kathryn trotting about the planet, making speeches, greeting off-world dignitaries, meeting with the President, supporting initiatives and appearing for interviews. She was Starfleet's golden girl, and she appeared to be lapping it up. She had fashion designers falling over themselves to put clothes on her. She was the celebrity of the moment. It seemed half the unattached male population between thirty and sixty were after her, among them admirals, rich business men and holovid stars. She was even seen out on dates with some. Chakotay watched mesmerised as the butterfly in Janeway emerged from its chrysalis. She did the public relations role with flare and aplomb. She had a compelling presence both in real life and on the holovids. How she fitted it all in, he didn't know, but she always did seem to have boundless energy. In fact, Kathryn was throwing herself into her work. It kept her mind from dwelling on things she wished to forget, or, more precisely, the hope she had lost. She was like a whirlwind. She looked gorgeously feminine whenever the uniform was ditched. Starfleet were highly delighted with their new ambassador, particularly as there had been so little to celebrate recently. 

Everywhere she went, she was followed by a crowd of onlookers and news teams. They followed her jogging first thing in the morning, and spied on her relaxing with her sister and twin nephews up at Lake George. She seemed to be taking all the publicity in her stride. Chakotay had much the same publicity problem whenever he went out, but since he stayed in as much as possible, there was considerably less material to transmit. 

He rarely saw her, and she responded to only a couple of official messages he sent her, and none of the personal ones. Once, Tom and B'Elanna had a naming ceremony for the baby. They held it at Tom's parents' house one glorious, sunny afternoon, where much of the time was spent poolside. A select few of their Voyager friends had been invited. She came, accompanied by a new aide, Ensign Edmund Roberts, greener than Harry Kim had been, and completely besotted by his new boss. She had indulged him by bringing him to meet so many famous former crew members, and he was very excited by it all. 

She was wearing a tight fitting white bodice, covered in silvery swirls, and a white skirt. She looked lovely. Chakotay could hardly take his eyes off the way her auburn hair, grown longer in the last few weeks, curled softly over her creamy, white shoulders, lifting occasionally as the gentle breeze caught it. She looked thin. The clothes emphasised her slender figure, but otherwise she looked well and happy. Release from the burden of command appeared to have taken years off her. She told everyone she wasn't sure if she would finally accept the post of admiral, as she didn't particularly want to stay stuck behind a desk. She wanted to be back out there among the stars. However, so far they hadn't exactly kept her chained to a desk, and she had a lot of leave due, so there was no hurry to make up her mind. She carefully avoided any chance of private conversation with him, in fact she avoided looking at him. She avoided speaking to Seven as well, at least beyond asking her how she was. Seven had been missing her private conversations with Kathryn, and was quite put out by this. It was the first time that Seven began to suspect that something was wrong. 

It was also the first time, B'Elanna truly got wind of his association with Seven. And after Kathryn had left, she got Chakotay on his own and let rip. 

"Are you insane? The woman's an emotional misfit. She's calculating, manipulative and cold as a fish! She's half your age. What are you thinking?" Chakotay had looked suitably embarrassed, but had defended Seven admirably. 

B'Elanna continued, "We thought you were still in love with the Captain, and she with you. We always thought you were the perfect match. Dating Seven is like dating her daughter! You couldn't have picked a worse person from the Captain's perspective. No wonder she's avoiding you!" 

Tom had managed to add his opinion once he grasped the nature of the dispute. Much to Chakoray's chagrin, he told the beleaguered man that he'd much prefer red hot and passionate to ice cool any day. He thought Chakotay was crazy, out of his mind. He admitted Seven was beautiful and that almost every male member of the crew had been extremely attracted to her at one time, but he didn't think the reality would live up to the fantasy. He didn't think Seven could truly satisfy someone like Chakotay in the long term. 

And as Chakotay took Seven home that night, his heart was heavy. He knew they had a point. Seven was quite dispassionate and mechanical in their love making. He knew she was inexperienced and needed encouragement to savour their intimacy. She just needed time. He would have to be patient. 

Later still, after they had made love and she had left him for her regeneration chamber, he tossed and turned, unable to sleep. His thoughts were in turmoil. They would rarely be able to sleep next to each other the whole night and wake up next to each other in the morning. It put a lot of strain on a relationship. Maybe patience would not be enough.

A few days later, there was the celebration ball. Kathryn arrived, resplendent in a long blue dress, with a tight figure-hugging bodice and flowing skirt. She had jewels glittering in her hair, ears and at her throat. She fought her way through the crowds of cheering fans who had gathered outside to catch glimpses of the famous crew. Her reception was the most enthusiastic of all, and she simply shone on the arm of Jean-Luc Picard in full dress uniform. Then they had to endure hours of official photographs, some of which were of the command team by themselves. He knew it wasn't his imagination that she'd stiffened when he put his arms round her. Later, he had to endure much the same performance at the dance as he had that evening several weeks before in Voyager's mess hall. She danced with lots of people. The Doctor by now had been reactivated and released under Janeway's supervision. He and Jean-Luc were excellent dancers, and both impressed the audience when dancing with her. As before, he decided that he didn't dare ask her to dance, particularly as Seven was apparently noticing how much of the time he was staring at Kathryn. 

Admiral Owen Paris had noted him watching her as well, and stole up beside him. 

"You realise you're looking at the hottest property in Starfleet?" he'd remarked dryly. Chakotay, heart in mouth, could only agree. 

And when he made love to Seven that night, for the first time he felt himself wishing it was Kathryn. He felt ashamed of himself. Seven, however, was beginning to think it was time they put their relationship on a more formal footing. 

A week later there was a wedding. Walter Baxter and Lydia Anderson were to be married, and Janeway was conducting the ceremony. Naturally, Chakotay attended too, along with Seven. He exchanged a few civil pleasantries with Kathryn. Seven was delighted to have a long conversation with the Doctor. She had missed his devoted support over the previous weeks. Without being able to talk to either him or Janeway, she had had to rely heavily on Chakotay for support. Afterwards, she was in a buoyant mood, and he encouraged her to go and speak to Kathryn. After all, he could think of no real reason why she should bear any of the blame for all this. 

As Seven wandered over to Kathryn's side, she decided that maybe this was the perfect opportunity to make it clear to her mentor that Chakotay was hers. She had been aware of the rumours regarding the command team on Voyager, but took them as just that. Rumours. Idle speculation, perhaps. As far as she was concerned, the evidence had been to the contrary. 

"Hello, Captain." 

"Seven. Call me Kathryn, please. We're not on board ship anymore." They spent some time discussing what they had been doing, how the media had been treating them and how their relatives were adjusting to their presence. Seven thought the conversation was going rather well, so she decided to risk a more personal comment. 

"It was a lovely ceremony, Captain." 

"Thank you. I'm glad you liked it." 

"Perhaps you will be able to perform a similar ceremony for me and the Commander at some time in the future." 

Janeway's jaw dropped and her cheeks flushed. 

"Whether you and the Commander decide to marry is your own affair," she blustered angrily, unable to contain her outrage, "but rest assured, hell will freeze over before I conduct the ceremony!" 

Seven crumpled beneath the icy stare, and ran tearfully back to Chakotay, who was unable to extract the essence of the conversation from the bewildered sobbing woman. He'd never seen her so emotional. 

He found out the details later that night, and was horrified. In truth, he was rather angry with both women. He was angry at Kathryn's explosive reaction and the effect it had had on Seven, and he was angry at Seven for asking Kathryn the question in the first place, especially as they had never discussed marriage. He knew, however, that if he allowed himself to vent his feelings it would only exacerbate the situation. 

Sensitivity was not one of Seven's strong points and he had to gently explain to her the complicated relationship he had with Kathryn. They sat on the couch, his arm resting reassuringly over her shoulders. 

"Is she in love with you?" 

"Yes, I think she is." 

"For how long?" 

"I don't know. Quite a long time, I think." 

"Then the rumours were true. And I've hurt her. I really wouldn't have tried to come between the two of you if I'd known. I've been profoundly disturbed by our lack of communication. She may never talk to me again!" 

"I know you have. But give her time. Emotional pain fades with time, and she might come round. I know she cares about you deeply. She wants you to be happy." Seven, however, wasn't looking very happy. The loss of Janeway's care and friendship had been devastating to her too. 

After a while she asked, "Do you love her?" For a moment, Chakotay hesitated. She was not so naïve that she didn't pick up on it. She felt a growing unease. 

"I did." 

"But do you still?" 

He sighed. He knew she would see through a lie, despite her inexperience. "Seven, there will always be a part of my heart that belongs to Kathryn Janeway. That doesn't mean I can't have feelings for you!" 

"Do you love me?" 

Chakotay's throat tightened. He couldn't answer her. 

"You've never said it to me." Actually, Chakotay didn't think he'd ever said it to anybody. And there was only one person, he'd ever wanted to say it to. It wasn't Seven. 

"My feelings are pretty confused right now," he finished lamely. What he hadn't said spoke volumes, and when Seven left that night they both had heavy hearts, as they realised for the first time that the relationship was probably not going to last. 

On the following Monday morning, Chakotay burst his way into Kathryn's Office, stopping only to check that she was alone. He apologised profusely for Seven's insensitive question, and begged her not to shut Seven out of her life. Kathryn wasn't having any of it and shouted at him to get out or she would call security. Within seconds, several aides came to her assistance anyway, and, after they'd glared at each other briefly, he'd had to leave. 

Two days later, Seven was offered a new post. As a result of Voyager's tampering with Unimatrix Zero, a number of drones had been freed from the collective. There were now a number of such groups appearing in the far reaches of Federation space. Who better to join the team of people dealing with the newcomers than one of the few people who had been freed from the collective themselves? Seven accepted enthusiastically. 

The inevitable happened. She and Chakotay had a discussion that evening. They both agreed that their relationship was over. They wanted different things. He wanted to settle down someplace. She wanted to explore. He wanted a family. She didn't think she'd make a good mother, so it was one thing she wasn't prepared to consider. She had a new job. It was going to take her far away from him, and probably for a long time. She was youthful, with the whole universe waiting for her. Moreover, his heart wasn't truly hers. They both knew it. But they parted amicably, promising to keep in touch and see each other whenever possible. He also encouraged her to contact Janeway, once she'd had a chance to calm down. He was sure that now that their relationship was over, the bridges could be mended between the two of them. He didn't believe that Kathryn could be bitter enough to hold it against Seven for long. 

He paused to reflect for a few days, spending one evening drowning his sorrows with B'Elanna. She diplomatically refrained from criticising him further, but was secretly relieved. 

He began to think of ways to reach Kathryn. If he got the chance, there was no way he was going to mess it up again. He wanted her back in his life. There was a connection between them that defied comprehension, something too precious to throw away. Without her his life was meaningless. Incomplete. But by the following week, she was gone. She'd apparently disappeared off the face of the earth. The bottom fell out of Chakotay's world.


	5. Chapter 5

Starfleet gave him precious little information. All they would confirm was that Janeway had gone on extended leave. She was owed rather a lot, and until then hadn't really taken any. She'd stopped public appearances. Nobody had seen her.

Chakotay was devastated. He contacted Gretchen Janeway, who politely told him Kathryn had gone away and she would willingly pass on any messages. He sent several messages imploring Kathryn to see him, but received no reply. The second time he contacted her, she was somewhat terse with him, telling him that her daughter did not wish to see him and requested that he refrained from trying to contact her any further. The next time he tried to contact her, he got no reply at all. He went to her house in Indiana, knowing that Janeway had been staying there earlier, but found it shut up.

He had slightly better luck with Phoebe. He went to her house, and managed to get himself invited in for a cup of tea. They chatted fondly of Kathryn for half an hour, and Phoebe was clearly captivated by his charms, but when he asked about Kathryn's whereabouts, she was decidedly guarded. The best he got from her was a promise to pass on messages. They met with no greater success than earlier ones.

He quizzed every member of the crew that he thought might have an inkling of where she was, but nobody knew anything. After six weeks, Chakotay was despondent. The hole in his life caused by her absence was just unbearable. He felt like he was staring into the abyss.

Whilst his personal life was hitting rock bottom, his career suddenly took a huge leap forward. He had by now indulged himself with several months' vacation, and was considering his options. He could continue in Starfleet, if they offered him a suitable posting, teach in a civilian position or perhaps go off-world and continue his anthropological interests.

He found himself called in to Headquarters to see Admiral Hayes, where, much to his amazement, he was offered the captaincy of Voyager. Voyager had been stripped apart and put back together again. With all the innovative additions that had been made to the ship in the Delta Quadrant, now fully integrated with the systems enhancements made during her re-fit, she was technically one of the most advanced ships in the fleet. Chakotay expressed some surprise at the offer, and was told that he had been highly recommended by Admiral Janeway, who had expressed full confidence in his ability to command. In fact, she had gone so far as to say that he was the only person she was prepared to step aside for. Starfleet also thought that such a unique ship needed familiar hands at the controls. They also recognised the special bond between the former crew, as they had found that over seventy percent of them wanted to stay with the ship. He would be getting most of the old crew back, although not immediately, as some were still taking extended leave. At first he would operate with a skeleton crew, doing short term projects and testing out the new enhancements for a few months, till everybody was ready to rejoin the ship. It was an honour he could not refuse.

He also learned that Kathryn had fought tooth and nail to get the Maquis paid for their time in the Delta Quadrant. He realised that she didn't completely hate him as he had begun to suppose. She was far too complex a personality. But he did not learn anything which would indicate her whereabouts.

A week later, he proudly took command of his ship. He sat in Kathryn's chair, used her ready room, and, after hesitation, moved his belongings into her quarters and slept in her bed. Everywhere he went there were memories of her. He simply couldn't escape. It felt like her ghost was stalking him. He was convinced he'd made a dreadful mistake, but, like a true professional, he set his mind on the job and got on with it.

Nothing of any significance happened this close to earth, so the next few months passed without incident. A couple of times when he was in earth orbit, he visited Tom, B'Elanna and Miral. Miral was growing fast, and they were going to rejoin the crew eventually. On the second visit, B'Elanna accidentally let slip something that made him realise that she had seen Kathryn recently.

"You know where she is, and you haven't told me?"

"I'm respecting her wishes, Chakotay. She doesn't want you to know where she is."

"She's on earth, then?"

"Yes."

"Where, B'Elanna? You've got to tell me. You're my oldest friend. How can you hold out on me? Doesn't my happiness mean anything to you?"

"Of course, it does. But Kathryn is my friend as well. Has been for a long time. Maybe more that you realise. And she trusts me. So I'm not going to tell you. The best I can offer is to pass on a message."

"Tell her I'm sorry. That I miss her. That I love her," he said simply. After a pause he asked, "Is she well?"

"Very. She's enjoying a relaxing vacation with her mother somewhere very lovely. That's all I'm going to tell you."

"Is she coming to the first anniversary reunion?" A ball, less grand than the previous one, was being organised for the first anniversary of Voyager's return. 

"She's not decided. Still thinking about it. I take it you're coming?"

"I can't avoid it. Most of my current crew are expecting me to host the proceedings." 

B'Elanna smiled. "See you there then."


	6. Chapter 6

And so the first anniversary of Voyager's return came round and with it the planned reunion ball, which was held in the large function room at a hotel in San Francisco. Chakotay turned up hoping that Kathryn would be there, but it was soon apparent that she was not going to put in an appearance. He was deflated. B'Elanna was worried about him, but she knew that the biggest reason for Kathryn's non-appearance was that she didn't want to face Chakotay. Seven, of course, did not make it back. She was working too far away. Harry turned up with Libby, newly engaged. They had managed to reconnect, and their romance had blossomed. They were lucky, perhaps because their relationship had been very much in its infancy when Harry had been ripped away the first time. Many relationships had failed to survive the separation.

But Kathryn didn't allow the occasion to pass without creating an indelible impact on it. She'd sent a video message. After dinner, the participants were treated to a five metre high version of Kathryn Janeway appearing before them on a holographic screen. 

"She always was larger than life," quipped Tom rather loudly, and everyone laughed. She looked radiant. Her hair was much longer, flowing freely well below her shoulders. Her face had filled out a little. She looked better nourished than Chakotay had sometimes seen her. Her skin looked slightly tanned, as if she'd spent time in the sun. Unusual for her...she usually burned badly. Her demeanour was relaxed and happy. She was standing in front of a white wall covered in purple flowering bougainvillaea. Her message was much more informal than previous speeches she'd made. 

"Greetings, everyone. I hope you're having a wonderful evening. I'm sorry I can't be with you, but at the moment I can't leave the new man in my life. Just be patient. I'll introduce you in a minute." Chakotay's heart seemed to drop like a rock. He thought he would throw up. 

"As you can see, I've had my feet up for the last few months. I'm staying in a lovely villa in the South of France. Just look at the view from my patio!" At this the imager swung round to show a magnificent panorama. The land sloped downward through wooded areas, past white villas with red roofs to sweeping bays and promontories. The sea was glistening in the sun. 

"Now you know why I wanted to get away! I've been swimming, painting, enjoying the delicious local produce and reading. Oh, I have managed to do a modicum of work for Starfleet from the comfort of my lounge. They want me back at my desk soon, so I guess I'll have to give all this up for a while. But the benefit will be that I'll get to see you all again. I've missed you all, and I hope life's been treating you well. 

And now let me introduce you to Alexander. He's the real reason I've been hiding myself away for the past eight months." From the side of the screen, her mother handed her a small baby. There was an audible gasp of surprise from the hall, followed by a few claps and cheers. 

"Surprised, huh?" she said smiling. "Alex, say "Hi" to all Mom's former crew." She waved one of his tiny hands at the viewers. The baby's eyes were closed, and he was blissfully unaware of his starring performance. "He's ten weeks old, growing fast, and generally a contented baby. Needless to say, my family and I are absolutely thrilled at his arrival. If you want to see more pictures, see B'Elanna. She's got lots. Oh, and in case you were wondering...I can see the windmills turning in your minds...he's the _only_ man in my life at the moment. I'm looking forward to bringing him over, so that I can introduce him to you in person. You'll realise that as you watch this it is the middle of the night here in France, so it would have been far too disruptive to have brought him tonight. Anyway, enjoy the rest of the evening! Bless you all and goodbye." She and the baby gave another little wave and were gone. 

A lot of people fell on B'Elanna to admire the pictures. She had some of Miral too. Chakotay observed the scene, his emotions in turmoil. He was struggling to absorb what he had just heard. 

There were quite a few comments bandied about:

_"Spirits, ten weeks. Was she pregnant when we got back from the Delta Quadrant?"_

_"Nah..it would make it during the debriefings."_

_"Surely not. She wouldn't have had time..."_

_"You never know what she got up to in those sessions. Maybe that's how the Maquis got off so lightly."_

_"They were all old codgers. I don't believe it."_

_"What about all those men she dated after the debriefings? There must be someone likely there!"_

_"Doesn't Picard have a vineyard in France? Maybe that's where she is now."_

Chakotay felt compelled to silence the irreverent discussion. It angered him that they could talk about their beloved Captain in such a manner. However, the last comment had occurred to him too and it made him uneasy. 

B'Elanna had been eyeing him carefully. She knew that the broadcast must have been a total shock to him. When the buzz had died down, she sidled up to him and put her arm round him. 

"Are you OK?" 

"Yes, yes I'm fine." 

"It must have been quite a shock to you." 

"You could say that. I guess it explains a lot. Do you know who the father is?" 

"No. Kathryn's been quite tight-lipped about it." 

"Is it true...is there no other man in the picture?" 

"Oh, that I'm quite certain of. There's no-one. She's sworn off men at the moment." 

After a pause, B'Elanna asked gently, "Do you still want to see her?" Chakotay thought for a moment, trying to make some sense of what he felt. 

He sighed. "Yes I do. I miss my best friend. Miss her badly. I still love her. It doesn't make a difference to how I feel." 

"Chakotay, she's thinking of coming over for the picnic tomorrow. I know you weren't going to come. Would you like me to buzz you if she turns up?" 

He smiled at his dear friend. "Would you? Please do. B'Elanna you're a true friend!" 

"Just don't let on that I told you." 

They hugged and parted. 

At midday the following day, quite a few people had gathered on a grassy hillside with a view over city and coastline. It was much more of a family gathering than that of the previous evening. Tom and B'Elanna brought Miral, now a sturdy and determined one year old, just learning to walk. Icheb came, taking an afternoon off from his studies. A heavily pregnant Sam Wildman came with Naomi, Harry came with Libby and others brought their families. 

Soon Kathryn appeared, baby in a sling strapped to her chest. She soon had an excited crowd of friends fussing round her, admiring the baby and taking it in turns to cuddle him. Naomi was absolutely enraptured, and offered to babysit as often as possible. Tal Celes also showed she had a natural affinity for babies. B'Elanna slipped aside to covertly contact Chakotay. 

The picnic began amidst much chatter and laughter. The atmosphere was happy and relaxed. Some of the youngsters and energetic adults began chucking a ball about. Others were sitting about on rugs and seats, emptying their picnic baskets. A tall dark man, dressed in black clothing and looking very Maquis, made his way slowly uphill to join the group. He schooled his handsome features to project a calm impression, but inwardly his heart was thumping. Kathryn didn't notice him until he drew quite near. When she did, an icy dread flickered through her, but she forced herself to remain calm. There was no way of escaping without causing a scene. Her attempt to project a neutral expression matched his, and their eyes locked. 

"Hello, Kathryn." 

"Chakotay!" 

"How are you?" 

"I'm good. Yourself?" 

"I hear congratulations are in order." 

"Thank you. I hear congratulations are in order for you...Captain!" 

He smiled and thanked her. She smiled back. So far, so good, thought Chakotay. 

"May I sit down?" By way of an answer, she slipped sideways on the rug. He sat down delightfully close to her. 

"You look well. Motherhood must be suiting you." 

"It's wonderful, Chakotay. Exhausting, but wonderful." 

"Do I get to see him then?" 

"Maybe. If Naomi ever tires of him and brings him back." 

"Missing the office?" 

"The office? The one with the desk in headquarters, no. The one up there with the stars outside the window, and my Voyager family about me, definitely." They discussed Alex, her going back to work soon, his experiences on taking over her job on Voyager, recent exploits of various crewmembers, reminiscences of times in the Delta Quadrant, the practicalities of taking a baby into space and the advantages of staying earthbound doing a desk job. Once relaxed, they slipped easily into conversation as old friends do, never noticing that the people around them kept their distance to allow them to converse privately. The crew were aware of the breach in the relationship between their former commanding officers, and were anxious to see it repaired. 

After a while, Kathryn decided to retrieve her son from Naomi, and bring him back to introduce him to Chakotay. B'Elanna took the opportunity to whisper in his ear. 

"Pay lots of attention to the baby." He threw her a questioning look. "Trust me!" she said. 

As Kathryn came back with the baby, he held out his arms to take him from her. He settled him in his arms, muttering gently to him in greeting. He was an endearing little thing, with a pale skin, curious coloured eyes and tufts of fluffy black hair sticking out of his head. Chakotay couldn't help but be enchanted, and it showed. Kathryn watched his face intently, and her heart began to melt. He looked so natural, so comfortable cuddling the infant, and cooing gently over him. She couldn't help but smile. She began to feel that it was time to stop being angry with him. After all, he wasn't with Seven any more. Was there any point in still being bitter? She was on the whole quite content with her life at the moment. And once the hurt and anger had subsided, she had missed him. Badly. He looked up and caught her smile. Soon they were both wearing big grins, their eyes twinkling in amusement as they gazed at each other. Chakotay thought he would have to thank B'Elanna for her advice. 

"I've missed you," he said gently. 

"I've missed you too." 

By the time she left, he had prised her address out of her, and an invitation to visit the following Wednesday. That is as long as he didn't bring the paparazzi with him. She did not want the media finding out where she lived.


	7. Chapter 7

Chakotay arrived at 10am. Kathryn hadn’t said a time, and he was determined to arrive early, in order to give himself as much time with her as possible. But considering the time difference, it was the earliest he could manage. He piled out the transport vehicle and walked up the lane to the villa. As he rang the bell, he felt optimistic about the day ahead.

Kathryn opened the door looking slightly flustered. He kissed her on the cheek. It seemed her mother had taken herself off for the day to Nice. She excused herself to finish feeding the baby, who sounded fractious, and told him to make himself at home and help himself to tea.

He looked around the villa. It was elegantly furnished and tidy, despite some baby paraphernalia around the place. Out the front was a balcony from whence the glorious view, familiar from her message, was visible. There was a large open plan kitchen and dining area, and an archway led through to a comfortable lounge. There were several doors in the hallway, and he calculated that there were at least two bedrooms. Out the back was a small courtyard with a swimming pool and behind that were olive groves. He wandered back to the kitchen and found the replicator. He was about to replicate some tea, when he noticed a pot of real coffee beside the stove. He searched the cupboards for some tea, and proceeded to make the real thing.

"Coffee?" he called.

"You need to ask?" came the distant reply.

By the time he’d set two steaming mugs down on a low table, she was coming back in the room with Alex. She laid the baby on a mat on the floor beneath a mobile. Then she settled on the sofa opposite and took a swig of her coffee. She stretched her back, put her bare feet up on the table and leaned her head back with a sigh. He amused himself by wondering what it would be like to kiss her delicate toes.

"Lovely place. Have you rented it?" he asked.

"No. I bought it. A friend of Jean-Luc’s helped me to find it."

"Is Jean-Luc’s place near here?"

"No, actually. It’s a couple of hundred kilometres farther north."

"Been there?"

"Only once. A long time ago. Beautiful place."

"Has he been here?"

"No, actually. He’s been off planet since I last saw him. That was at the Ball." She watched him carefully and realised that he was fishing for background information.

"I wanted an uncontroversial escort at the Ball, and he was delighted to accommodate me. We’re good friends, Chakotay, nothing more." He debated whether to press further, but was anxious not to turn the conversation where she was unwilling to let it go. Their relationship was too delicate to take risks. But they read each other too well. She knew what was going on his head. 

"Alex’s father is not around. Don’t ask me to tell you who he is. I’m not going to tell you." She decided to turn the tables. "She dumped you then."

"Don’t look so smug. The decision was mutual."

"Want to tell me why?" He hesitated for a moment, before deciding to be as honest as possible.

"We wanted different things and, more importantly, she wasn’t you."

"Ah," was all the response he got.

"I still love you, Kathryn. I always have. Always will. You own my heart. Nobody else will ever do that. What I said to you that day..in your ready room..was a terrible mistake."

"Chakotay, you can’t just wipe it out, pretend it never happened. What was said was said. And our lives turned in different directions as a result. We are different people now. I’ve got Alex to think of now and he’s my priority."

"We could be a family."

"Well, there is a vacancy in the father department, it’s true. But, if you think I’m going to leap into your arms right now, you are mistaken. There’s been a lot of damage done. I’m going to find it difficult to trust you again."

"Kathryn, you could trust me with your life. I’ve proven that many a time. You know that."

"I know that. But can I trust you with my heart?" She saw the hurt in his eyes and continued, "I would like to rebuild our friendship, though. You’ll have to be patient with me, and we’ll see where it leads." He smiled easily at her, relieved that she’d offered as much.

"I’d like that."

They chatted about less emotional matters after that. Chakotay made sure he held Alex and made a big fuss of him. He admired the cute little fingers and toes. He let him curl his fingers round one of his. After a while he responded to his chatter with little cooing noises and his persistence was rewarded with a smile. Or at least half a one. The left side of his mouth curled upwards. Just like Kathryn’s endearing crooked smile. Chakotay burst out laughing and the smile grew to a full one.

"He’s got your smile!" he commented in amusement.

"You think so?"

"Yes. This is one placid baby you’ve got here."

"Not all the time, I assure you."

She showed him the pictures she had painted, somewhat reluctantly. They were mostly of the local scenery, although there was an interesting portrait of her mother. There were also some paintings by Phoebe, an artist by profession. They were also of local scenery and characters, but somewhat wacky. He told her that he would rather have one of hers on his wall any day, but she laughed his comment off in embarrassment. She had already bought food for lunch, but Chakotay insisted on preparing it, whilst she amused the baby. They then settled down to a meal of French bread and cheeses, salad and fruit, washed down with some local wine. It was delicious, and they had by now totally relaxed in each other’s company. Just like many occasions before. It was as if time had rolled back. He had never felt this at ease with Seven. Never felt such peace and contentment. There was no other woman in the universe that could do that for him, and he knew it.

He cleared the lunch things away, while she fed the baby discretely in the corner of the couch. "How are you going to manage that back at your desk next week?" he called.

"Well, I’m going to have lots of help. Tal Celes is going to take on a lot of the responsibility. She’s going to look after him and bring him in at least once during the day. Besides, he will take a bottle. He’s going to have to."

"Tal Celes?"

"Yes. She’s a natural. Found her calling in life. Plus she knows her way around Starfleet. She was thrilled when I asked her. Said she’d never looked after a baby before, at least full time. I said not to worry. I hadn’t either!"

She changed his diaper, and then suggested they go for a walk.

"Shall we take the baby in a sling?"

"No. It’s far too hot out there. He’ll be much more comfortable in the hovercrib." She pressed a button on the wall, and it sprang down. She laid Alex in it, commenting that he would probably go to sleep quite quickly.

"Do you mind if we hide your tattoo? I’ve worked hard to maintain anonymity here. Only a few select locals know."

"Fine. Have you got a dermal regenerator?"

"No, but a spot of make up would do the trick…that’s if you don’t mind." She disappeared into the bedroom and brought back a pot of flesh coloured paint. She had to stand very close to him to spread it on and she felt his warm breath on her face. Their eyes smouldered at each other, and smiles played on their lips. Both felt the connection strongly. He wanted to put his arms round her, but she pulled away.

She donned a hat and sunglasses, which was quite sufficient a disguise for her and they went outside.

Chakotay offered to push the hovercrib. She let him, perhaps rather foolishly. He swung it about and pushed it forward at great speed, testing its manoeuvrability. The baby looked a bit disconcerted, but the inertial dampers kept him snug. Kathryn, however, looked horrified.

" _Warning,_ " said a disembodied voice. " _You are exceeding the safety parameters of this device._ "

"Chakotay, what are you doing? Stop it!"

"Relax, he’s fine!"

"You’re supposed to keep a hold of the handle at all times!"

"OK. OK. I’ll be good. Now stop worrying!" They set off down the hill, enjoying the view. The occasional chatter was interspersed with comfortable silences. She took him to an excellent shop, where they both had a delicious ice cream. Kathryn chatted in French to some of the locals and bought a fruit tart to take back.

Back in the villa, she let him look through an album of recent pictures. He thought she looked very cute pregnant. Then there were the new-born photos. The Doctor and her mother featured in these, so they had evidently been there at the time. Tuvok, B’Elanna, Miral and Tal Celes were among the people grinning from the pages, and he realised that some of the crew had been holding out on him for the last eight months. He felt somewhat betrayed by that, but knew they were only acting on Kathryn’s wishes.

Gretchen Janeway came home. She looked like a very smart and elegant older version of Kathryn.

"Katy. Are you there?" she called uncertainly. She was unwilling to interrupt their time together. Kathryn called her in and introduced her to Chakotay. Gretchen searched his handsome features and was immediately captivated. She asked him to stay to dinner.

"Who’s cooking?" he asked saucily.

Gretchen looked him in the eye and smiled. "You fell for that one, did you?"

He raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

"Chakotay, you must know my daughter well enough by now to know that she is manipulative. Relax, I’m cooking. Vegetarian, aren’t you? Will you stay?"

"Yes. I’d be delighted." In truth, he’d have eaten old socks if it had meant he could stay longer. He caught the amused look on Kathryn’s face, and decided that this warranted further investigation.

They had a delightful evening, and he found he got on very well with Gretchen. Eventually he had to leave. He really didn’t want to go, and Kathryn didn’t seem in a hurry to make him. She promised to contact him as soon as she was back at work, but was reluctant to commit to a date. However, he left with a song in his heart. It had been a good day.

After he had left, Kathryn stretched herself on the couch.

Gretchen eyed her daughter thoughtfully.

"He still wants you, you know."

"I know. The question is…do I still want him?"

"Oh, I think you do. Why else would you be thinking of getting on his little ship and sailing off into the sunset next week?"

Kathryn grinned. "I didn’t tell him about that. I haven’t decided yet."

"I liked him a lot. So did Phoebe. Maybe you should give it a chance. But it’s your life, dear. I don’t wish to influence you."

"Well, I would like to rebuild our friendship."

"Friendship? You can’t fool me, Katy Janeway. I’m your mother!" They smiled knowingly at each other.

When Chakotay arrived home, he decided to contact his spirit guide. Over the last few months she had been less than encouraging. She had looked at him with undisguised disdain. But tonight was different.

"You will have to be patient, son of Kolopak. Your relationship with this woman is like a delicate flower. Do not pluck it until you are sure it will not crumble in your hand."

"But, can I love another man’s child?"

"There are many people that you have loved. There are many reasons why you loved them. Understand the past. Understand the future," she said cryptically, but he found it very encouraging. 


	8. Chapter 8

By the following weekend he was back on board Voyager preparing her for departure and awaiting orders. A full crew complement was now expected, including Tom and B'Elanna, bringing Miral with them. Of course, certain adjustments had to be made on board to allow for the arrival of infants, but he left that in the hands of his capable first officer, Commander Jotan. It was quite common for families to travel on spaceships away from war zones, and both Tom and B'Elanna were keen to resume their careers. Lieutenant Harry Kim joined as third in command. The Doctor got assigned as Chief Medical Officer, but brought with him a trainee junior doctor and a nurse. It felt like old times. Seven was of course still in a distant part of the galaxy. Tuvok had remained on Vulcan with his family. There was one other person glaringly missing. Chakotay had exchanged written messages with her, but not actually spoken to her since his visit. He thought he should give her the chance to make the next move. 

She made the next move in grand style. By the middle of the week, orders came through from headquarters that they should expect an Admiral on board the following day, together with four staff, her mother, son and personal assistant. The Admiral was Janeway, and the personal assistant was Tal Celes. Two of her staff were Ensign Roberts and Libby, Harry's fiancée, who was to do administrative work. They were to escort her to Ramnos IV, where she was to undertake negotiations for a treaty and attend ceremonies in and around the area. It was basically a public relations exercise, challenging, but not likely to prove dangerous, and at least a four month round trip. Chakotay was ecstatic. 

The following day, at his request, the transporter room bleeped him to say that the Admiral's belongings had just arrived, and they were expecting their owner to arrive within the next few minutes. He flew from the bridge and arrived in the transporter room to find lots of crates stacked up, and tons of baby equipment. He chuckled. He'd thought she always travelled light. 

Their owner followed soon after, and he greeted her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

"Couldn't you have replicated some of this? We're not on rations any more." 

"Well, I see you don't know much about babies! They need familiar things..familiar smells. Believe me, he'd notice if anything was different...even the slightest thing. Besides, it's not environmentally friendly to keep replicating things you already have." 

"It's not environmentally friendly to transport so much stuff either." 

"Well, you'll be pleased to hear I left the grandfather clock at home." 

"Glad to hear it. You're in the VIP suite, by the way," he said with a hint of apology. 

"I heard my old quarters were occupied," she acknowledged. "Don't worry. The VIP suite will suit us fine." 

"Good." He patted the baby on the head,   
greeted Gretchen, and escorted them to their new quarters. Then he left them to settle in. It crossed Kathryn's mind, as he disappeared, that these were the rooms Kashyk had had. It was not something she wished to remember, so she forced   
herself to set the thought aside.

Later, Chakotay went back down to check on the new passengers. They were settling in well. 

With a cheeky grin he whispered in Kathryn's ear, "By the way, I've been checking Starfleet regulations. Would you believe there are no rules about Captains fraternising with Admirals?" 

"No, but the rules about Captains not fraternising with their crew still apply," she replied huskily. "So if you've got your eye on any blonde lieutenants, you should forget it!" 

He grinned. "Now why would I be the least bit interested in any member of my crew, when I've got my sensors locked on to an Admiral?" She smiled back easily. "Dinner?" he added hopefully. 

"OK. But tonight I've got to entertain the office staff. Join us if you like." 

"I was hoping to get you to myself." 

"Tomorrow, then. But I'm afraid Alex will have to come too. We're a package deal now. And my time with him is precious." 

"You've got a deal." 

A week or so passed, during which Chakotay grabbed every opportunity to spend time with her, usually in her quarters. Sometimes he had Kathryn and Alex to himself, sometimes Gretchen joined them. Gretchen seemed very comfortable aboard ship. She was an Admiral's widow, after all. She told him that having lost her elder daughter for seven years, she was anxious to spend as much time with her and grandson as possible. Right now, Kathryn needed her, if she was to do a full time job and cope with the baby. When she had to make herself scarce to allow the two of them time alone, she joined in whatever entertainment was going. Sometimes she took herself off to the holodeck or spent time in her room reading or painting. However, her absolute favourite activity quickly became haunting Sick Bay to wind up the Doctor. 

During their first dinner alone, Kathryn had mentioned that she had heard from Seven the previous week. 

"Oh, I didn't know you were back in contact." 

"Yes, actually. But only by video-link." 

"Does she know about Alex?" 

"Yes. She thought he would be something of an inconvenience." 

"That's typical of Seven." 

"She wanted me to tell you something. She seemed a bit unsure about telling you herself." 

"Oh?" 

"She's seeing Axum." 

"Axum? Spirits, how did that happen?" 

"Turned up on a ship of ex-drones. Came through Van Gorris wormhole three weeks ago. She's started calling herself Annika Hansen." 

"There's a surprise. None of us managed to persuade her to do that. I take it she's happy?" 

"Very. They've got a lot in common." She paused. "Are you okay with it?" 

Chakotay thought for a moment. He was most certainly okay with it and said so. 

Gradually, they drew closer together. They easily slipped into their old familiar companionship and their gentle teasing banter. Some things happened that promised more. When he left each evening, he kissed her. At first, it was a friendly peck on the cheek, but later he was able to hold her briefly in his arms, bury his fingers in her hair and kiss her more deeply. 

One evening, he sat next to her on the couch and slipped his arm over her shoulder. She leaned in closer to him, nestling her back into the surrounding warmth of his body and lifting her bare feet up onto the couch. Her head rested in the crook of his neck. This closeness soon became very precious to them, as they each breathed in the scent of the other. He stroked her hair tenderly, and eyed her painted toes, wondering once more what it would feel like to kiss them. 

He probed her about the baby's father. 

"I will tell you," she told him. "When I'm ready." 

"And the baby's father? Does he know about him?" 

"No. At the moment that's the way I want to keep it." 

"Do you think that's fair. Do you think you should deny him the chance to know his own son? I know that if I found out that I had a child somewhere I'd been kept in the dark about, I'd be devastated." 

She looked uncomfortable for a moment, then said in a tone that closed down the conversation, "Right now, I'm taking charge of my life. Making my own decisions. I put my life on hold for seven years in the Delta Quadrant. Now I'm putting Alex and myself first." 

"Okay," he responded, wondering at the meaning of the prickliness he detected in her voice. 

Before he left, he told he again that he loved her. He wanted them to be together. She told him to be patient. She needed to be sure. But he got to kiss the toes, as she shrieked with laughter. 


	9. Chapter 9

One evening, Chakotay joined Kathryn, her office staff, Gretchen, Tom, B'Elanna and Harry in her quarters for dinner. It was a convivial evening, the chatter ranging from serious discussion of politics and diplomacy to jokes and reminiscences which resulted in side-splitting laughter. When the meal had been finished, they moved to the lounge area for coffee. Some sat on couches and others sprawled on the floor around a low table. Tom was all for playing a silly game, but was meeting some resistance.

Alex was getting fractious. Chakotay by now was getting confident with handling the baby, and took him from Kathryn. She smiled at him as he talked to him. The baby quietened at the now familiar voice. He gazed down as ever enchanted by the little fingers and toes. He stroked the black fluffy hair, but it was stubborn, refusing to flatten down. 

As the baby relaxed, his eyes widened like saucers. Chakotay stared down at the chocolate brown eyes.... strangely familiar chocolate brown eyes. A chill of recognition ran through him. It couldn't be, could it? He focused on staying calm, schooling his features not to show his turmoil. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

Forcing his voice to sound normal he said, "I'm just going to take this little chap for a walk." Kathryn nodded her acknowledgement. Tom flippantly told him not to get lost. As soon as he was out of the door, he began to run.

Striding angrily into Sick Bay, he dismissed the nurse and activated the Doctor. 

"Doctor, I want a DNA test on this baby," he blustered.

"Now, now, Captain. There's no need to shout. It's not good for the baby."

"I want to know if I'm the father." 

The Doctor sighed. "I don't need to do a test. I know exactly who the parents of this baby are."

"Well?"

"The child is genetically the offspring of Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay."

"It's as I thought! Tell me, Doctor. How did she do it? How did she steal my DNA?...Spirits, you were in on it! How did she get round your ethical subroutines?" 

The Doctor had the grace to look embarrassed.

"The Admiral has instructed me, that, should you ever ask, I was to confirm the parentage of the baby and nothing more. I was to refer you to her for all further discussion."

He had to settle for that, so he left Sick Bay and headed for his ready room. Anger was rising in his belly against Kathryn. Hell, she was as bad as Seska. Worse, in fact. The woman he thought of as the love of his life and a long standing trusted friend was duplicitous. How could she have done this to him? And how, after their growing closeness recently, could she not tell him the truth? And yet, cradled in his arms was something very precious. A son, _his_ son. Something he wanted very much.

He strode furiously across the Bridge, causing the crew to look up in surprise. The door to the ready room swished shut behind him. He slumped down in his chair, and crooned softly to the baby for a moment.

Then he hit his comm badge.

"Chakotay to Janeway." The tone was acerbic. 

"Janeway here."

"Can you come to my ready room at once?"

Noticing the anger in his voice, she answered, "Is everything all right?"

"It most certainly is not. Now, get up here this instant....unless you want the parentage of your baby broadcast all over the ship! Chakotay out."

Janeway blanched visibly. The other people in the room sat in stunned silence. They looked at her curiously. Gretchen patted her on the back. 

"We'll go," B'Elanna said gently. Tom was anxious to stay and find out more.

"No, no. There's no need. Don't leave on my behalf. Stay and enjoy the rest of the evening." She stood, walked through to the bedroom and collected some objects, then left. There were some raised eyebrows, but Gretchen's presence prevented any speculation. The conversation was awkward, until Tom interjected with some anecdote.

Following Chakotay's footsteps, Janeway strode across the Bridge. The Bridge crew became even more curious. She reached the door, straightened herself up and smoothed down her uniform. Taking a deep breath, she rang the chime.

"Come."

She entered, observing the thunderous look on his face.

"Well?"

"Well, what, Chakotay?" She was deliberately maintaining a calm, quiet tone.

"Is he my son? I want to hear it from your own lips."

"He is genetically your son, yes."

"Were you ever going to tell me? Were you going to keep me away from my own son?"

"I was going to tell you when I was ready."

"When was that going to be? When he was a grown man? What right do you have to do this to me?"

"Don't shout, Chakotay. You're upsetting him." She held out her arms to take the baby from him, but he drew him further away from her. 

"Tell me, how did you do it, Kathryn? How did you steal my DNA from me? I want to know."

"It wasn't like that. I didn't steal anything."

"Then how was it, Kathryn? Explain it to me. Tell me how my long trusted friend, whom I love beyond reason, could do this to me. Spirits, I thought Seska was bad, but you....you bitch.... Do you enjoy tearing me to shreds? Is this some sort of revenge?"

"I had full permission to do what I did."

"From whom?"

"From you, Chakotay...at least a future version of yourself." With that she laid a hand-written document on his desk.

He recognised his hand-writing, but not the words. It was a legally witnessed document, surprisingly dated some fifteen years into the future. It was headed up temporal free, meaning that it was valid both before and after the signatory date. It also stated that it was valid in any timeline. The gist of the document was that the custody of foetus JC1, currently in stasis, was gifted to Kathryn Janeway and solely Kathryn Janeway in any timeline. In the event of her death, custody was to be transferred to Chakotay, and in the event of both of their deaths, custody was to be transferred to the Janeway family to be dealt with in an ethical and responsible manner. Chakotay read it through three times in complete and utter stupefaction.

"There's also a recording for you from your future self, when you are ready."

"Do you know what it says?"

"No. It is has a unique security code on it. You are the only person who can open it. I only know what the Admiral told me the night before we left the Delta Quadrant." She slid a holo-disc in front of him. On top were written the words _"Disc B : to be given to Commander Chakotay in the event he is not in a relationship with Kathryn Janeway. Destroy after viewing."_

"There is another disc. I will let you have that also if you wish. Shall I leave you to listen to it alone?"

"No. Stay. I think you should hear this too. Besides, I haven't finished with you yet."

"Fine. I'll stay. Now, can I please take Alex." This time he gave the baby up to her and she took him across the room, and sat on the couch beneath the window to watch.

Chakotay placed his right hand carefully on the matching hand print on top of the disc, and the seal broke open. An older version of himself, looking rather frail appeared, about 20cm high.

At first the figure babbled on about security and the need to listen to this in private. In particular, Seven of Nine was not to listen to the contents. He had to place his thumb back onto the security panel to activate the main message.

_"Chakotay," said the figure. "You are no doubt astounded to see an older version of yourself speaking to you. As you can see, I am very unwell and do not expect to live much longer. Getting back to the Alpha Quadrant has not brought me joy. We were too long on the journey. Too long for too many people. But if you are seeing this, you will understand that my timeline will not now be realised. You will not have to go through the agonies I went through, and not have to face the unhappiness I have. Learn from my mistakes. I hope you can make a much better future for yourself. I need to explain to you that the arrival of foetus JC1 in your timeline is the result of a plot Kathryn and I hatched up together. I played just as much part in it as she. You need to prepare yourself for what I am about to tell you. It is not pretty._

_This is basically the story of what happened in our timeline. If the timings we've looked at hold true, Admiral Janeway will arrive in your timeline roughly two weeks into your relationship with Seven. You may ask why we chose that time to come. Frankly, we had no choice. We had to make use of the trans-warp hub. Also the knowledge of the Borg and the Delta Quadrant you've gained so far are of paramount importance to the Federation._

_We knew there was a risk you would pursue your relationship with Seven, hence the need for two holo-discs. We also did not want to influence your decisions about your immediate future in any way. That damned temporal prime directive, eh? You're only seeing this now because Kathryn Janeway has deemed it essential that you are made aware of what really happened in our now defunct timeline to two people, namely yourself and Kathryn. Two people who loved each other, so broken by the events of their lives that they felt it necessary to break every rule in the book and try to change history. Two people who once were essentially the same two people you are now._

_Just picture this. Seven years into our journey, and, uninterrupted by visitors from the future, I began dating Seven. Looking back at it now, I realise I was foolish. I had been in love with Kathryn Janeway for seven years, probably since the instant we both stood eyeball to eyeball on the Bridge for the first time. I'm sure you recognise the truth of what I'm saying. You and I had the same history up until the Admiral's return. There were times when I thought my feelings were returned, and there were times when I was in despair. But we had the most precious friendship, something far too valuable to risk. I know now that she did love me, for almost as long as I loved her, but kept her feelings hidden. She's always been much better at that. She always put the ship and the mission first. She stood by Starfleet regulations for reasons best known to herself, and hoped that by holding back from me, by sacrificing her own happiness, she would leave me free to move on. I tried to.. several times without success. With Seven it was different. She was beautiful, inexperienced and more importantly on board the ship. It was extremely flattering, and maybe I shouldn't be surprised that I finally thought I could put aside my lingering futile hopes for Kathryn. I convinced myself that I didn't love her anymore. So, the romance blossomed and I became genuinely fond of her. I had found the first chance of happiness in my personal life and wanted to seize it._

_So we married. Kathryn had to grit her teeth and perform the ceremony. It must have been awful for her. I never noticed that she slipped away soon afterwards, or that she spent the rest of the evening in her quarters in floods of tears. Worse than that, she had to put up with hearing us make love, until the sound-proofing between my bedroom and her lounge was improved. No surprise that she spent most of her waking hours in her ready room, even slept there many nights. I must have been stupid not to notice._

_It didn't take long for me to realise what a terrible mistake I had made. You can't be married to one woman and see another woman, the one you truly love, on a daily basis and remain unaffected. I know Kathryn tried to avoid me, but it was a small ship and we had to work together. We would sit right next to each other on the Bridge, our hands sometimes brushing and her perfume assaulting my senses. Old feelings bubbled up inside me, destroying my equilibrium, destroying the inner peace that I had first found on working with Kathryn. It began to eat me up. None of this was Seven's fault. She was a complete innocent in all this. And for the first year or so, whilst she was oblivious of my inner turmoil, I think, at least I hope, she was happy._

_You get very self-absorbed when you're in such a state, and it took me a helluva long time to notice Kathryn's unhappiness. Of course, we weren't having our cosy dinners any more, or spending time together on the holodeck. But little things seeped into my consciousness..the way she flinched sometimes if I touched her..the looks I occasionally spotted on her face when she thought no-one was looking. Eventually, it dawned on my dull brain what was going on. I confronted her about it. She denied it at first, of course, but we were both too emotional, and in the end the truth spilled out in an ugly confrontation. It was like lancing a boil. She did love me. Always had. And I was in an impossible situation. It was unbearable. How on earth we managed to muddle through without being relieved of duty, I do not know. The crew were certainly aware of the tension between the two of us. I think some even guessed the cause. But Kathryn was, as always, the true professional, always putting the ship first, and I just had to do my best to follow suit._

_Things went from bad to worse. Whenever I spent time alone with Seven, whenever I made love to her, I found myself wishing she was Kathryn. Often I was aware that Kathryn herself was only metres away on the other side of the bulkhead. My misery must have been evident, because Kathryn began to spend time with me again instead of avoiding me. She was so worried about my well-being. It was easy to do so late at night, because of Seven's need to regenerate, which in itself put strain on our relationship. My need for consolation was great, and Kathryn's was the only shoulder I could cry on...neither of us were prepared for anybody else on the ship to find out the truth. Maybe B'Elanna might have been able to provide support, but she had a young baby to deal with, and she had always been frosty about my relationship with Seven._

_So during the second year of our marriage I ended up spending a lot of time with Kathryn. Maybe it was inevitable, maybe we were overcome by our emotions, maybe we had had too much to drink....it's easy to try and think up excuses...but one evening we ended up tumbling into bed with each other. It just happened that one wonderful night, at least at that stage of our lives, and the guilt gnawed away at both of us for years. You could have cut the atmosphere on the Bridge, or any place else we were together, with a knife. Our ship is a small place. There is nowhere to go to escape. Every problem is magnified tenfold. Everything has to be faced on a daily basis._

_A few weeks later, things were no better. In fact they were worse. The Doctor called me to see him, very concerned about the Captain's health, and, as her first officer, I needed to be aware of the situation. She was pregnant. Kathryn was absolutely livid that he told me. She had planned on my never finding out. It seemed her contraceptive implants had failed, probably the result of partial assimilation. You know how rarely she turns up for her medical checks! I had no contraceptive implants. After all, I was a married man. Nothing would have made me happier than to become a father._

_She desperately wanted the baby. She thought that it might have been her only chance. But she could in no way reconcile the idea with being able to continue running the ship and performing her duty. Coupled with the fact that she could not face the crew with the awful mistake she, well both of us, had made, she determined with bitter regret on a termination. I was desperate to have a family too, and my wife had told me sometime previously that there were no circumstances under which she would consider reproducing. She thought at my age, I would be in perfect agreement. Imagine the agony. I begged and begged Kathryn not to go through with it. We discussed her leaving the ship, my leaving the ship, a surrogate, anything to solve the problem in a less devastating manner. In the end, the Doctor offered the only answer that gave us any peace of mind. He removed the foetus at ten weeks gestation and placed it in stasis. We hoped to get home quickly. We had covered half the distance in seven years and there was always the hope of a wormhole or similar. Failing that, we might have ended up settling on a planet somewhere. The original plan was for Kathryn to disappear and have the baby quietly. With luck, I would at least be able to see it sometimes. But of course that didn't happen. We took too long to get home. Seven was injured in an explosion on an away mission, and died in my arms. Thankfully, she never found out what had happened. Kathryn and I have lived with the unbearable guilt ever since. I caught an incurable disease on another planet, which is now slowly killing me. Twenty-two other crewmembers died, the Borg caused vast loss of life in the Alpha Quadrant, and our baby never got a chance to be born. We had to do something. So we hatched up our plan to change the last part of our journey, give a lot of people a chance at happiness, and deal a crippling blow to the Borg at the same time. We would deliver our baby to your Kathryn and give him the chance to be born. The Doctor assures us that, given Kathryn's current age and the healthy nature of the foetus, there is an eighty-five percent chance of a successful outcome._

_Well, now you know. Pretty tragic isn't it? But your future doesn't have to be like that. Take it in your hands and live it. Make what you can of it. Don't blame Kathryn for this. It does take two to make a baby. You will understand why we had to give her sole custody of our baby. We couldn't run the risk of your refusal to co-operate with her, because of your involvement in another relationship. But, if you are seeing this, the baby is presumably expected or has been born. I entrust him to Kathryn, but hope very much that you will love him too, as I would have done. Goodbye."_

The disc shut down. Chakotay buried his head in his hands. He could hardly believe what he had just heard. Hardly imagine the agonies those people from the alternate timeline had gone through. It was utterly terrible, and yet perfectly credible.

After a while, he stood up and walked towards Kathryn. Both of them had tears welling in their eyes. She was nursing the baby, his cheek pillowed against the soft white breast. He was sucking occasionally, but very nearly asleep. Chakotay's heart softened. He could not be angry with her. He sat down next to her, running his arm around her shoulder. Heads tipped together, they both wept.

When the tears slowed, she gently laid the baby in his arms.

"Meet your son, Alexander _Chakotay_ Janeway."

"Alexander Chakotay Janeway?" he asked astonished.

"Well, I thought he should be named after his father. Really, Chakotay, I thought you would have noticed it on the crew manifest before now." The tears gave way to smiles. 


	10. Chapter 10

The next day, Kathryn explained to him how the Admiral had told her a similar tale the last night in the Delta Quadrant. Chakotay had died, without ever seeing his son have a chance of life, and it had taken the Admiral another nine years to pull everything together for the journey. She had then asked her younger self to continue the pregnancy for her. Kathryn had promised to follow through on this as soon as they arrived back in the Alpha Quadrant. After all, the child was genetically hers. In the light of the sacrifice the Admiral had made the next day, it was the least she could do. Besides, she wanted it very much. After the debriefings, the Doctor, who had been involved in both timelines, and was immensely self-satisfied with his management of the situation, had prepared her body for pregnancy. Then he had successfully implanted the foetus in Kathryn, who then continued the pregnancy for a further thirty weeks. 

Then she gave him a chip. It contained a holo-recording of Alex's birth. She warned him that it was slow and somewhat graphic, but she thought he would have liked the opportunity to have been there, even in retrospect, so she'd had it recorded. She expected him to treat it with reverence. He was immensely touched. She declined to go with him to watch, declaring that she had been through it once and that was quite enough. 

He took it down to the holodeck, and set it going. A Starfleet hospital room sprang into life, Kathryn very pregnant on a bio-bed. The Doctor, Gretchen and a nurse were there. It was almost as good as being there, except that he could not interact with the characters, which was very frustrating. He was itching to help, but of course it was a read-only recording. He fast-forwarded through vast chunks, but he saw his son born - a very emotional moment. He was profoundly grateful that she had done this for him, but afterwards she insisted on destroying the recording. 

He spent the next few weeks bonding with his son. He was utterly bowled over with fatherhood. Most of the time he spent with both the baby and his mother. But he baby-sat once or twice while Kathryn did something with her mother. He learned to change diapers, and he fed him with a bottle. Both were easily obtained from the replicator. The bottles were peculiar contraptions with breast like appendages. Kathryn explained that the milk was an exact reproduction of her breast milk at the perfect temperature. 

"He'll barely know the difference," she said, showing him how to hold it. 

He eyed the breast speculatively. "Is that an exact recreation as well?" 

"Now, wouldn't you just like to know?" she said sashaying out the door. He hoped that this wasn't the nearest he'd get to the real thing. 

His relationship with her deepened. He talked about their living together. He told her that he wanted to marry her. Above all he wanted to make love to her. 

"I have a son, and I didn't even get to enjoy his conception," he teased her one evening. 

"As it happens, Chakotay, neither did I!" she teased back. 

"Then why don't we do something about that?" he asked her fruitlessly. Although they caressed and hugged very intimately now, she seemed unwilling to jump that final hurdle. 

His love for her was all-encompassing at times, sometimes joyful, sometimes painful and frustrating. It was an old familiar feeling, borne over many years. He knew he should be patient, because things were heading in the right direction. He was sure that he would win Kathryn Janeway in the end. 

Two nights before arriving at Ramnos IV, she came to his quarters for the evening without Alex. He thought he was definitely in with a chance. 

He was disappointed to find her still holding back. He decided it was time to challenge her about it. 

"We've waited eight years. Don't you think that's long enough?" 

"Of course it is. If you'd asked me a year ago, when we had that conversation in my ready room, I'd have been in your bed like a shot." 

"So what's the problem then?" 

"I don't know. I'm just not sure..." 

"I've never been surer of anything in my life. I love you so very much. And I've felt like this in two timelines! Don't you want us to be together?" 

"Yes, I do." 

"Don't you find me physically attractive?" 

"Heavens, Chakotay, I find you very physically attractive." 

"Do you have some hang up you haven't told me about?" 

"No!" 

"Then what is it, Kathryn? Explain it to me!" 

"How can I? I don't know if I understand it myself!" 

"Try, sweetheart. You're going to have to try. This is torturing me!" He was sitting beside her, the fingers of one hand entwined with the fingers of one of hers. His other was stroking her hair. She was silent for a while, and then tears began to brim in her eyes. 

"It's because.." she began tentatively. "I think I feel uncherished. I used to feel so cherished by you. It was what kept me going throughout our time in the Delta Quadrant, and then we got home and you didn't want me.... Riley, Archer, Kellin....you know, none of those mattered. They were over almost before I found out about them. And I had made myself deliberately unavailable to you then. But Seven was different. She was beautiful, young...I hadn't a hope of competing. You chose her, after I offered myself to you. And I don't know if I will ever feel secure in your love for me now." Chakotay closed his eyes, realising that his rejection of her had done incalculable damage. 

"Kathryn, I don't know what to say. I've told you over and over how much I love you. I can't say it any more ways. Nothing I felt for anyone else comes close to what I feel for you. There's a connection between us that is very rare, and you know it. We've been best friends for eight years, and, if you can't trust your best friend, whom can you trust? I know I can't promise that everything will be a bed of roses, but I can promise that I will do everything in my power to make you happy. I'm sorry for what happened. It was the greatest mistake of my life, and I know I acted like a complete fool. Come on, my love, forgive me. You're a past master at giving people second chances. What else can I say?" 

"I need more than empty promises. I need commitment. I need to know you're not going to let me down and run after some blond bimbo sometime in the future." 

"Kathryn, there's no danger of that...not if you're with me..completely with me! Besides, I much prefer redheads," he added teasingly. 

"You know, one of the reasons I didn't tell you sooner that you were Alex's father was so that I would be sure that it was me you wanted, not just Alex." 

"I want to be Alex's father, but I'll be his father whatever you decide. What I feel about him has in no way altered what I feel for you. I want to be your husband and lover more than anything. Let me make love to you. You won't have the slightest doubt how much I love you, if you do." 

She got up and headed for the door. "Just keep telling me that, Chakotay. Tell me enough times and maybe I'll start to believe it." 

Sudden inspiration hit him. "Are you punishing me with this?" 

She hesitated and turned round, realising that he'd touched a nerve. 

"If I am, I'm punishing myself too." 

"Then isn't it time to stop, give ourselves a break and start living the rest of our lives?" She leaned back against the wall by the door and closed her anguished eyes. Then she appeared to come to a decision. 

"We'll be about three days attending all the meetings on Ramnos IV, right?" 

"So you say." 

"And we could stay in orbit three or four more days without missing our next appointment?" 

"Easily. You're giving the orders round here." 

"Time for some shore leave?" 

"Definitely." 

"Then I think you, Alex and I could use some quality time together, don't you? Alone. Just the three of us." 

"Absolutely!" he smiled. 

"Set it up, Chakotay." She turned, swiftly passed through the door and was gone. 

He knew her well. It meant she had capitulated. 


	11. Chapter 11

The negotiations and festivities at Ramnos IV went very smoothly, thanks in no small part to the hard work done by Janeway and her team during the journey. She signed a treaty and attended a few functions, including a dinner at which Chakotay acted as her escort. 

In the meantime, he made arrangements to rent a luxurious beach side villa with an excellent vista over white sands and inky, purple ocean. The morning after their duties were over, the three of them arrived to find everything waiting for them. The baby's equipment, the food and two huge flower arrangements had been delivered. It was nearly perfect, except for some irritating insects, which inhabited the dunes. Fortunately, the villa had sonic screens to keep them out, whilst still allowing the wonderful scented breezes to waft in. 

They spent an idyllic day, walking hand in hand along the shore line, exploring a local village, browsing through a market and enjoying a quick lunch at a restaurant. Alex, held by a sling on Chakotay's chest, was content while they were moving, but grew fretful when they stopped. 

In the evening, Chakotay cooked a delicious meal while she busied herself with the baby. Afterwards, he cleared away the meal and tidied the room as she settled Alex down to sleep for the night. When she emerged from his room, Chakotay wrapped her in his arms. He kissed her on the forehead. 

"Do you mind if I go take a shower?" 

"Take a soak in the tub. I can't believe you'd prefer a shower!" 

"I would take too long." 

"I could join you." 

"Another time, perhaps," she laughed. She kissed him lightly, unwound herself from his arms, and headed for the bathroom. 

Minutes later, he glimpsed her through the bedroom door, sitting in front of mirrored dressing table. She was wearing a bathrobe and drying her hair with a sonic brush. Softly, he stole up behind her, and she sensed his presence behind her. Looking up she saw his dark, handsome features materialise in the mirror. His eyes were dark with desire. A tingle of anticipation coursed through her. She wondered by what power she had resisted this man for so long. Gently, he took the brush from her hand, and took over drying her hair. With one hand he brushed with careful, firm strokes, whilst his other hand was skimming through her hair, savouring the feel of the silky strands between his fingers. 

He put the brush down and kissed her on the top of her head. He lowered himself, pulled her long hair aside and over one of her shoulders. He began kissing her neck. She stretched her neck and moaned softly in response. 

His hands slid slowly across the top of her shoulders, and out towards the collar of the bathrobe. Gently he pushed it aside, until it fell and pooled around her waist. She wasn't wearing anything underneath. He gazed into the mirror, transfixed by the beautiful vision before him. 

His hands slid silently down her arms, then up across her belly till they reached soft swellings of her breasts. He caressed them gently, shaping his fingers around the curves, flicking at the tips with his thumbs. Kathryn arched her back, sighs escaping from her throat. 

Eventually, they both stood. Her bathrobe fell completely away, and she embraced him, pulling him to her and burying her hands in his hair. Lips met and tongues danced. Their hearts began to race, and their breathing became heavy and erratic. Then her hands slid up inside his shirt, and her fingers splayed out as she felt his broad, muscular chest. She began to unbutton his shirt, and he hastily helped her to remove his clothing. Soon, he was standing gloriously naked and aroused in front of her. It was an impressive sight. Eagerly, he lifted her onto the bed. 

Her body was soon shivering at the delicious touch of his fingers. Ripples of pleasure spread through her, as his hands expertly teased and feathered their way across her flesh. Slowly and sensuously, he paid homage almost every part of her. From her neck and breasts, he worked his way down to her hips and thighs. She opened herself to him, as a flower opens its petals, and finally his dextrous fingers discovered and probed her warm, velvety depths. His lips followed the path of his hands, worshipping everything they touched. She was writhing in ecstasy as he moulded her flesh expertly with his fingers and mouth. He was delighted at the responsiveness of the woman in his hands, thrilled to at last becoming familiar with her body, and it inflamed his desire further. 

When her hands descended to stroke him intimately, he pulled them away. "Later." he breathed. "This is for you. Relax and enjoy yourself." He knew he would only last seconds, if he let her handle him, and he wanted this first time to be perfect. 

Finally, when he knew she was ready, he buried himself in her with one masterful stroke. She gasped, and their eyes locked for a few moments. Then he picked up the pace, driving deeply into her. They were both caught in the rip tide of their passion, eight years of pent up longing flooding out. Their consciousness narrowed to their points of contact, all else shut out. Each held the other's name on their lips. Wonderful sensations eddied through their bodies, growing in intensity. It was powerful, yet exquisite. It felt as if they were hovering on the edge of fluidic space, until finally the boundary was shattered and she climaxed explosively as he emptied himself inside her. It was more amazing than either of them had imagined. 

Their heavy breathing slowed and neither said anything for a while. It wasn't truly necessary. Their eyes spoke volumes. They lay in each other's arms, kissing softly. 

Eventually, still inside her, the aftershocks of their lovemaking still pulsating, he said, "I love you so much, Kathryn. More than words can say." 

"And I love you so much, Chakotay." His heart sang. Such a bald, naked statement! It was really the first time she'd said it. He felt a strong sense of completion, as if he had been waiting all his life for this moment. Nothing that had ever happened to him before could compare. 

She felt a wonderful sense of peace envelop her. Everything was right. She had come home at last. And she did feel cherished. Impossible not to.

When he woke the following morning, he was still feeling euphoric. He propped himself up on one arm and admired the beautiful naked body sleeping beside him. The cute nose, the strong jawline. The curves of her breasts, the dusky pink nipples. The way her lovely chestnut hair fanned out across the crisp white pillow. Then he noticed the matching eyelashes. Funny, he'd never noticed that before. He supposed he had always seen her wearing make-up before. They looked gorgeous in their natural state. In the other room, he heard Alex gurgling happily. He sighed. Life didn't get any better than this. 

He thought briefly of the other Kathryn and Chakotay. The ones whose lives would not happen now. He wondered if they had finally found some comfort in each other's arms. He hoped they had. They had finally consummated their love, and come out the other side to face agony and guilt. He and Kathryn would come out the other side as a family. The future held every promise of being good. 

He slid his hand over her belly and she stirred. They had made love three glorious times last night, before drifting off to sleep sated and peaceful. She had blown him away with her whole-hearted enthusiasm. It had surprised him, after her recent reluctance, but he supposed Kathryn Janeway never did anything by halves. He was hoping for a repeat performance before rising this morning. He moved his hand upwards, surprised to find her breasts hard and heavy. She yelped. 

"Chakotay!" She was fully awake now. 

"Sorry. Did I hurt you?" 

"I need to feed Alex. Will you go fetch him? I'm surprised he's not screaming." 

He sighed and got up. She watched appreciatively as the muscles rippled beneath his skin when he walked out of the room. He came back cradling the infant, crooning to him in an effort to prevent his soft cries going full throttle. 

"Here we are then, here's Mom," he said handing him to her. He latched on hungrily. 

"Right, I'll go and fix you some breakfast." 

"Coffee?" 

"You'll have that poor child addicted in no time." She smirked at him. 

He threw on some jog pants, and wandered back into the lounge bare footed and chested. In the kitchen area, he started on the coffee. He'd make fresh. 

A little while later, there was a knock on the door. He opened it to find Tom, B'Elanna and Miral on the veranda. He invited them in, offering coffee and breakfast. They came in and sat down. 

"You're up early." 

"Well, life with a one year old is never dull!" 

"We wondered if you fancied some company for the day. We could make a trip somewhere." 

"Well actually...I don't know." At this point it dawned on Tom and B'Elanna that he was not alone. There were muffled sounds coming from the bedroom, and he had clearly been making breakfast for more than one person. 

"Chakotay, you old dog, you've got someone in there!" said Tom. 

B'Elanna, however, was much better at picking up subtle signals. Looking carefully, she noticed one or two baby items round the room and a pair of Kathryn's sandals by the door. She knew instantly who else was there. 

"Tom," she said quietly, "I think we'd better go." 

"No. No. I could use a cup of coffee." She tugged his sleeve. 

"Tom!" she said more firmly this time. "I think we'd better go." 

"What? Oh!" and they made towards the door. Chakotay was about to let them go, when an idea struck. This could be fortuitous. They'd need some witnesses. 

"No stay. I'm sure Kathryn won't mind." 

It was about time he took the initiative in their relationship. It couldn't be too difficult to find a magistrate, maybe get Gretchen there, replicate a couple of rings...He hadn't asked Kathryn yet, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. He strode into the bedroom. 

"Kathryn, have you got anything decent to wear down here?" Before she could even answer, he had flung aside the wardrobe door and spotted the lovely silver bodice and white skirt he'd seen her wearing at Miral's naming ceremony. He pulled it out and tossed it on the bed. 

"Put that on. We're going to a wedding." 

"Oh?" 

"Ours!" 

  


* * *

  


Epilogue.

Alex grew strong and fast, taking after his father in both looks and temperament. Kathryn's career went from strength to strength. Her experiences in the Delta Quadrant meant that she was a more free and innovative thinker than the typical Starfleet admiral, which made her a valuable commodity. True, she ruffled a lot of feathers. Not everybody thought so highly of her, but they were mainly those who felt threatened by her rise to power. She was responsible for a particularly notable military victory at the Battle of Sennit Kor, but that's another story. Chakotay found that he was increasingly playing the role of Admiral's consort, but he was more than content, because it enabled him to devote more time to the family. Fatherhood both delighted and exhausted him. There was continued intense media interest in the couple who had started out as enemies, and ended up marrying. They often felt more comfortable in space than at their home on earth, because there they could escape from the relentless media hounds. Fortunately, Kathryn found herself able to manipulate matters and avoid being chained to an earth-bound desk for long. 

Within two years, Kathryn had given birth to identical twin girls with red hair and dark eyes. Eleanor Kes and Elizabeth Kathryn were very fiery and stubborn, but their parents enlisted lots of help so that they were able to continue with their duties. This time, much to both parents' delight, they were conceived, gestated and delivered in the conventional way. 

  


_Author's note_

This is the 24th century. Life expectancy is well over a hundred and it is perfectly reasonable, though perhaps not ideal, for a woman in her mid-forties to have a baby. I realise that B'Elanna would have a lot more to say to Chakotay on the subject of his being with Seven and also on the prospect of taking on another man's child, but the story was getting long!


End file.
